I was recently invited to a small pool party – only about 10-12 people – and although normally I find them ok and a bit of fun , this time I hated it . Completely and utterly hated it. I found myself so self conscious about how my body looked in my bikini and whether it covered too much or too little and I must have spent at least 20 minutes in the bathroom just staring at myself in the mirror not wanting to step outside of my little cocoon of security. I haven’t blogged in a really long time but I thought I would share how I managed to change my mindset enough to get me out of that bathroom so :
1) I put an old t-shirt over my bikini top – some of the others had also done this to not get sunburnt but this meant that I didn’t need to worry about mu bikini top falling down or people thinking that I was fat.
2) I took a few deep breaths to control by breathing and look more calm when I went out.
3) I stood at the door with my hand on the lock , closed my eyes and counted to ten so when I got to ten I opened my eyes , opened the door and walked out .
So that was the first thing sorted – actually going into the party – and for the most part before the BBQ I was fine , a few good friends and I had a laugh and took some photos and splashed around a bit before sitting down to eat. And that’s when I felt like the whole world had swallowed me. Every one was having convosations around me and it was so loud with the sound of chatter and giggling but yet I felt so alone as the convosations washed over my head and my ears and brain started ringing. I sat there and ate quietly whilst I sort of sank away from view trying not to catch anyone’s eyes – time seemed to drag on forever before finally everything ended and I was so glad for my mum to pick me up that I basically squeezed at the sight of her ! Any way , I wanted to put this out there because even if you are surrounded by so many people , you cans still feel so alone and scared- not to mention the fact that my anxiety had almost disappeared after a few years of struggling and by the looks of it it has come back to haunt me ! What am I going to do !
Giving up. It’s the easy it’s option available and sometimes it is the only option that you feel like you can take but believe me , it isn’t. Anxiety forces you to take the most comfortable option available but most of the time that prevents you from reaching your full protencial )- so ( and I know that this blog post is only short and is probably no help to the little followers I have – my message to you is Never and I mean never give up because you never will know what you are capable of until you push yourself of the edge. During this time, though, you may feel panicky and scared buts that’s the whole point – if you can get through it once and find out what you really can do , you will be able to do it many , many , many more times again. So go out there and find where you comfort zone end and the break the barrier and go far beyond because in a few years time , it will have changed you life forever!
Many people think of anxiety as being something that effects you in major situations like big performances or massive test but what the don’t realise is that anxiety cause’s you to worry constantly about the small hints in life to. For example , the other day I had a super busy schedule and I had just finished a analysis of a product in graphics and it was only A4 but suddenly my computer crashed and I just froze and before I could help it my throat started to size up and I started to have a panick attack. I got my breathing under control and just sat in the corner and cried. My dad came up sand tried to fix it but it was gone – all the work I had done in the last hour , that precious hour that I had only just managed to squeeze into my evening was gone. But it just goes to show that something as simple a a computer deleting your work can cause you to panic. That night I lay in bed and just wished that I could disappear as I now had another hour to squeeze into my life.
But my advice to you is when these small things cause you to panick follow these steps:
~ take a deep breath and count to ten
~ sit down and think about how you can find time to sort them out
~ get something to drink
~ sort out a way to fix whatever you are worried about before you go to bed so that you will get a good nights sleep without constantly worrying about it
Exams, don’t you just hate them ! They seem to come into your life take up half the night forcing you to revise the wrong stuff and then cause you to stay awake the other half panicking about how bad you are going to do ! But after three years of high school exams I think that I have found out a thing or too about how to manage you anxiety at this awful time ~
- Start to get you revision stuff ready the holiday before your exam -even if this is weeks before you week of exams you will see you neat , new revision folder with nice dividers in it and just be motivated to start when the time comes when you should start revising
- Start your revision for your subjects from the start of the year- this way if you run out of time the most recent topics should still be quite fresh in your head dispite you not having time to actually revise
- The night before the exams read through all of the information you need to know and then go straight to bed. This way the information will still be in your head and you are more likely to remember it due to a part in you sleep that makes you learn the most recent information you have been presented with
- Always take a bottle of water into the exam hall – this way if you start to feel hot and panicky you can try and prevent your panic attack before it comes
- Go steadily through your test- don’t rush through all the questions at the start thinking that you are going to run out of time as the likelihood is that you will get them all wrong.Just remember: slow and steady wins the race
I hated my blog and I abandoned it – who cares about a random girl in northern England ! But I was sort of dawn back to it so here we go !
I am an anonymous blog and I always intend on being ! I am in year nine and want to dedicate my blog to helping people with anxiety ( like me ) so if you are interested buckle up for a long ride of hopefully positive and uplifting blog posts!